Lost Records: Bloom & Rage made me experience something I didn't think I could anymore. (SPOILERS)

I think I've mentioned this already but I love DON'T NOD so much, they are my dream studio to work for (yes Michel Koch, I'm available to work) and they are absolute masters at making my 44-year-old ass experience things I haven't in decades.

Through them I've reexperienced the feeling of letting the world around you burn because you've convinced yourself a fleeting romance with someone you just met was the most important thing ever. I've reexperienced that first moment of young adult successful independence. So many different things I haven't experienced since my late teens and early twenties.

But Lost Records: Bloom & Rage hit me with one that I never even remembered. One that we all more than likely experienced and let ourselves forget.

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WE ABOUT TO DROP SOME SPOILERS, Y'ALL

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Real talk, play the game first before you read this because, holy shit, you need to experience this not knowing it's coming.

In Lost Records: Bloom & Rage your character, Swann, the clumsy awkward girl coming into her own, makes friends with three other girls over the summer. You have Nora, the stereotypical edgy kid who thinks they're the defecto leader despite being absolutely scared to take the lead on anything. You have Autumn, the almost "normal" one in the group who is often a source of wisdom and seems pretty grounded when she's not exhausted from dealing with the after effects of the others. And then we have Kat.

You absolutely get the flower, Kat. Worry not.

Kat is...Kat is the best. I knew some girls like Kat growing up and they were all incredible. The little spitfire, insightful, clever, able to appreciate the beauty in things...and absolutely filled with angst just ready to pop at the slightest injustice. And in a game full of twists, she's at the source of so many twists that she practically gave the script cornrows.

See, Kat has a sister and that sister has a boyfriend and equally, both of them are complete shitheels. They fat shame, they bully, they threaten people, and they're just awful to your character. We see why Kat hates them and because Kat is Kat, we want to protect her.

Over the course of the game you find out about how Kat is homeschooled on the farm she lives on. You find out that she hates her life and holds a LOT of resentment towards it. You hear about her dad and while you don't get a lot of details, you can very clearly tell that Kat is NOT happy.

There are scenes where Kat wants to run and you absolutely help her because of course you do. You know what's right and she gets to camp in the woods with y'all.

There is a scene where Kat's dad sends Bully McBoyfriend out on his dirtbike to pick up Kat and bring her home. And when the jackass shows up and starts demanding that Kat get home, you and your friends stand up to the bully and prevent him from laying his hands on her. Of course you do. You're a good person.

She talks about escaping and things being unfair and you don't ask for elaboration, you just want to help her. She talks about poetry and the riot grrrl movement and wanting to start up a band. You help her. You all get glammed up and put on the most riot grrrl concert a small town ever got. You know why? Because you are besties and you're a good person.

It is at the concert that...it happens. Kat has been acting weird. Fearless and reckless. Filled with determination but also staring a LOT at the middle distance. And, because of the things you experience you automatically know it's about all the supernatural botherations that have been vexing your little coven of friends. Right? It has nothing to do with her occasional cough that you should probably pay attention to in a game where ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE COUGHS. RIGHT?!

Anyways, the concert happens, y'all get punked out, and get ready to perform one of the worst but most convincing first timer lead riot grrrl concerts in punk history.

Manic Panic stocks went up from these four alone.

It is during this concert, however, that Kat's sister and the sister's boyfriend show up. Which was likely, you're doing this in front of their work so...that seemed inevitable. And they are pissed. Though they're more pissed at the three of you who AREN'T Kat more than anything despite it being heavily Kat's brain child.

Confusion starts to build as Kat gets madder and madder. Her coughing builds up as she climbs on top of a pickup truck, screaming at everyone and the world upon which they stand. Her nose starts bleeding. Your plan seems to be going to shit. And then, Kat is out cold.

It's around that time that Kat's sister gets in your face. Kat is dying of leukemia (which, in the early 90s had a much worse survival rate than it does now) and it doesn't help that you've been helping her avoid going home where she can get the treatment and medication she more than likely is supposed to have.

When a child has leukemia, there are a TON of things that are important to remember. You need to stay clean. You've been keeping her in a filthy abandoned cabin. You need to make sure they don't suffer cuts and bruises, no matter how small. Say like...those splinters she got working on your filthy ass cabin. One of the big rules of helping a child with leukemia (and I'm not kidding) is that you have to greatly limit their time around campfires. And Kat has been going back and forth between campfire and fireplace. This all helps you realize something...

You fucked up. You biffed it HARD.

And that is the thing I forgot I felt once. That feeling when you're young and you feel like you understand the way the world works in a way adults seem to not be able to comprehend and you seem to have it all figured out...until you realize you don't when you fuck up in the kind of way you can't undo. I felt it again with this game. I, at 44, got so caught up with playing around in the fucking woods I paid no attention to the fact I was actively killing someone.

DON'T NOD, I need you to know this. I'm impressed and also how dare you. I'm going to go walk this off now, excuse me.